Friday, November 10, 2017

Rescue a draft alreddy

So I gets this calendar in my Roxie fan mail:

Starring various Roxies

I donut have means and is no way gonna share my food any way. So I will not be rescuing a draft horse. But shuld you maybe want to? Pleez feel free.

That is all.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Well this is some garbidge times 2

So. Maybe this is common nollidge to every one but me. But did you know it is possible to have TWO bits in your Roxie mouth at the same time?

No.
And let me tell you. It's kinda clangly but all well an good. Until you is trotting around and is all "I'm gonna stretch my Roxie face down now okay mom" and she is like "no you arent" but you go to do it anyway because your big nog is unstoppable. And then the second bit is like "ha ha hello i'm a curb chain" and you is all "AW DANG" and you have to get your face up off the ground.

It is some serios bull jive.

WHY ARE WE EVEN RIDING ME IT IS GONNA SCRAMBLE UP MY PRECIOS BAYBEE

Fie on that bridle any way.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Vet check

Oh heer was a thing.

Remmemer last summer when I was all like "WELP IM GONNA DIE NOW GOODBYE WORLD" and we had to give me tons of medisine?

Mom is all "Let's do bludd stealing so to check on your Roxie stuff and make sure you is living."

So i has to go to the vet.

AND THEY STEELS MAH DANG BLUDD WITH POKING.

SADDEST ROXIE FACE PLEEZ BE NICE TO PERGRET ROXIE
It turns out that my bluud stuff is fine. So this is a big waste of a trailer ride and of my bludd.

But it's cool cuz. Revenge happuns.

I leave a big ol lake in the parking lot ha ha ha ha ha ha ha take that mean stabber peopel.
So. All is well.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Heer is some trael scenes

So my Roxie bigness dose not actually prevent me from trael walkings and some troddings.



That's pritty much how I spent my summer vacayshun.







I is even entrusted with Mom's Matt!





So in conclushun. I is the best trael horse. But I sort of feel like you all know this already.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Aw man

Two months with no Roxie posting???

Welp. I warned you that things is reel quiet here.

My Roxie dot is officially a baby. It has a heart and it has tiny HOOVES you guys. Also I is a big ol preggo lady and some one shuld tell mom that it's ok for me to get whale fat and not be rided any more.

I mean seriosly. My giant girf isn't near giant enough.
But whatever.

Oh here is som thing.

I gives myself a real avvan gardey haircut.

Party up front. Business in the back wher I itches it out.
I is allowed to be bootiful with my hairs cuz it's cool to pamper on a mommy lady and be nice to her and not make her go trotting. Coff coff mom pay attenshun coff.


Thursday, July 20, 2017

Things is quiet

So. I has been Roxie remiss in my bloggy up dates.

Roxies is lazy, kina. You all know this.

But also there is not a whole lot of exciting. I does a bunch of trael miles this summer.




Sometimes I takes a pony along. Or sometimes a Fang pony. But mostly it's the Roxie show.


SMILE FOR CAMRA

I do also host some people on my back for traels. Like Mom's frend Aimee.


Aimee makes me into a unicorm, which makes perfick sense if you know her or reed her horse stories:


Aimee lurves unicorms.

I also host Mom's friend Jackie.



And Mom's friend Tracey. But there is no pics of Tracey. :(


Oh, here is a thing that happens. This is confusing. Maybe you all can halp me unnerstand this.

So mom is all "You is not showing this year" and I is all "Cool. Less working."

But still I goes in the trailer. A lot.

I goes to this laydee Krista's house every time.

Krista place.

She touches me in some private places. I is like "WHUT AND WHY" but i allow this becuz Mom says to be nice and also says that all laydees gets inspected here at one time or nother.

What you doing back ther?
SHE IS TOUCHING MY ROXIE BUTTOCKSIE  (O_O)

There is a lot of this happening, perty frequintly. So i gets used to this.

Then, I donut go for a while.

And then when I do go back, ther is some happiness. About a dot?


I don't unnerstand. Hoomins is so weird.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Spring time is trael time

I has been hitting a lot of traels lately. Some on my own with Mom, an some with frends.

Liek today. There is frends on pinto ponies. One of which is a literal pony.


Lookit. Seriosly.


It's even smaller than Potater.

Look at Mom's buddy all the way down there.


Ha ha.

Pony party!