Jomping lesson

I does a Roxie jomp lessin!

There is a nice man name of Brad who tells Mom what to do.  An he says lots of "GOOD GURL!" an tells me I is a beeyoutiful Roxie an a mass talented jomp horse.

Seriosly.  He is all "I LOVE DRAFTS" an "ROXIE, YOU JOMP SOOOOOO GOOD!"

Click heer for a You Toobs video. I turned off the talkings so you just has to beleeve me that he says nice stuff.

Lerning

Doing

Demon Roxie

I hates this hack job Roxie hair cut.

 I HATES IT

SO BAD

Likkit

I is Roxie Right.

I has made a pritty good dent in this Likit thing already.

Happie Chrissmiss

Hallo!  Crismiss happens.  This is a day when I get nice Roxie things for NO REASON.

There is a Roxie coat brush, an some Udder Budders, an a Likit thing.

Likit?

Mom has to kina explane what this is.

I think I gets the idea.

I also donot think this Likit thing will last real long.

Hallo

So.  Not much happens latelee.  I gets rided, an i gets lots of massahjes, an lots of treets. Altho, lots of treets is still not enuff treets for me, Roxie.

I can post a video at leest.  Here is me being awsome Roxie jomping pony.

Heer is som stills.  They is blurry a-cuz of Mom's camera.

Right leed is hard, you guys!  Seriosly.

Bonus Roxie Shadow.

The video I shows you? It is taken by Tiny Marrissa!  I has not seen her in so long. I allows her to ride me som more.

Altho Mom sayz "no stirops" for her cuz of her little slippy shoes.

Marrissa also brings me Roxie granola bars.  Thees is the BEST Roxie treet!

Thank you, Tiny Marissa!

Truth

It is importent to discover the truth of things, somtimes.

Like wether that good-tasting granola thing Mom is carrying is relly good, or whether it is consealing some D Wormer.

WRONG.

Right!

Like wether green appels is better than red appels.

The correckt answer is "Yes" an then you feeds the appels to a Roxie.

Like wether your trailur ride is going to be a fun thing or a show thing or a Mean Vet With Needuls thing.

Like how the peepul around you RELLY feel abowt you.

I has found a way to lern this last one.

Simply stamp your giant Roxie foot onto a soft an crushable human one.  Aim for the toes!  Put all your Roxie weights on it and twist until you feel (or heer!) a POP sound.

You will quickly disscover exactly what som one thinks of you. You will also get a free evaulayshun of your intelligense level and perhaps some speculayshun on the respeckatbility of your parents.

Roxie Speshial Treetment

When you is a Roxie, you is a Speshial Horse an you gets speshial treetments because of this.
















Such as massahjes.

And such as body clipper clip jobs.

An then you is branded with proof that Mom loves you.