SO I, Roxie, got lots of dayz off of be-ing rided. I think this is cuz I is a Good Girl. Or Mom is bizzy with “work” agin. Or mebbe I is keepin the grasses down in teh Big Field. Or maybe Mom is “remodeling her stoopid bathroom and its stoopid and expensive and takes too much time.” I dunno. Mom sez a lot of things.
But annyways, a cuple days ago Mom comes to ride me, Roxie. An this is OK with me. Mom always gives treets wen she comes to put my green haltur on. So she brushded me an put my Bob on me an we went owtside to the big areena. Mom got on me an I was a Good Girl for her excep when she startded askin me to trot and canner. I wuz like, “No, I don’ wanna, I forgot how to be rode!” an I pinnded my ears and made faces and wuldn’t go. I just want to walk. An reelly, what’s rong with walkin' arownd at a walk? NOTHIN.
Mom kicked a couple times and hollered a liddle an then got off me! I wuz liek, “Hooray, I win! Now is time for grain foods!” An mom led me out of the areena an I wuz happie. But then we startded goin towards my trailur. I is like, “huh, maybe we are goin sumwhere. But I still has my tacks on. This is weerd.” An mom opend the little door on the side an I thot mebbe there was grain foods in ther. An she got a black whappin thing and I sed to my Roxie self, “uh-oh, I cannot purtend anymore. I’s goin to get whapped.”
So Mom got back on and asked me for trots. An I thot may-be I could call her bluff and so I pinnded my Roxie ears and di’int trot. And then she whapped me! And I didnt heer the whappin sound! And IT HURT! It totallee hurt like a big Horse Flie bite. I trottded THEN, I ashure you. An she asked me to canner and I hadda do that too! Tuirns out this wasn’t a whappin thing, it was a WIP. Wips are like whappin things with a stinger on the end and you get stung with it! :-(
I haet wips. I wuz NOT that brattie and I surtinly did not desurve a wip.
That is all.