Monday, March 7, 2011

Mom is try-ing to kill me

So. Mom is trying to kill me, Roxie. I do not like this an I request a rescue from anyone who is willing to saeve me.

Heer is some exsamples of Mom trying to kill me:

1) Mom taeks me on a TRAEL RIDE. An TRAELS IS SCAREY AN WILL KILL ME. Traels is scarey every spring, until I goes out for a few tiemes an I rememmber that traels is no big deel. But Mom an me goes on a trael ride with Leeuh an her horse Fred-Black-Jack. An EVRY THING IS GONNA EET ME. I is all O_O the whole time. Heer is a artist rendishun:



Post scrip: Nothing eets me. But it CULD have happened.

2) Mom puts me in a new bit. It is my Roxie bit that I gets for Crimmis, it is a Kimmer Wick. Well. This Kimmer Wick is AWEFUL! I HAETES IT!!!!!!!!!!! Ther is a big MEEN chain unner my Roxie chin! An when Mom is all “flex at a poll” an I is all “no, I don't wanna, I is Roxie,” this chain BITES me an it is TERRUBBLE!!!!!! Mom is a MEEN MOM an I is going to die a Trajic Roxie Deth if I have to keep flexing at a poll! D:

3) One day, Mom is all “we is gonna jomp” an I is like, “yay! Jomping!” But then she is all, “Roxie you must jomp these barrels with NO stannerds” an I is like, “whut, no! I don't WANNA, I IS ROXIE!!” an then she SPANKS me! An jerks on my Roxie mouf! An I is all “nooooooooooooooooooo, barrels is too hard!” But Mom is like, “you MUST jomp this!” an finely I HAS to. :( An then I is a Good Gurl, an then i rememmber that jomping is fun. But still. This jomping with no stannerds is asking much too much of a Roxie. An I almost dyed, seriosly. Hard works maekes you die Roxie Deth.

I do not want a mom who kills me alla time. This maekes for a Sad Roxie.

10 comments:

Albigears said...

Jasper knows ALL about the springtime horse eating things on those trails! THEY WILL KILL YOU. Be careful Roxie.

jenj said...

Roxie, u shud call the SPCA and tell them about how meen your mum is. I do this all the time becuz my mum never feeds me and my buddy Saga enuf, even tho she sayz I am fat. For sum reezon the SPCA never believes whut I say but I still try. An I make sad faces at dinnur time so I will get xtra.

-Reddums the Feerless War Pony

Angelina said...

It's best to be careful on trails, because people have no sense at all! They don't understand all the potential threats out there. It's good that you do, and can protect yourself and your human!

Val said...

Roxie,
I like your artwork.

When your mum isn't looking, you should dig a hole and bury the Kimmer Wick. You still have to learn to flex at the poll, though. You can do it; it just takes practice.

Hurricanes12 said...

oh roxie you must be especially cautious of fallen logs or branches when out on the trails, oscar tells me these are the scariest monsters of all! right after he bucks me off and runs away. i'm glad to hear you don't leave your human to fend for herself, maybe you can earn your way out of the kimblewick with your lovely behaviour ;)

Dreaming said...

Pippin says, "I have a Kimmer Wick too. I hate it. I chew on it. I try to chew on the chain. I am getting used to it. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought. The Kimmer Wick is OK.

Cactus Jack Splash said...

I am glad you didn't get eaten on your ride.
My DOR is making us go to a trail clinic the weekend...I hope I don't get eaten.

allhorsestuff said...

Oh Roxi...whoaaaa is you oouu oouuou! That bit does sound mean, do you deserve tha? Did you pull and make faces that youd go somehwere that human girl did not ask?
I have been in special graces again..KK girl has taken me out with my bitless bridle again...she did have to pull hard when I thought I was going to be left behind once(I'm TB and need to go faster than most)
AND YEA..totally getting you with the trails being dangerious. I got chased and swiped( hurts to think again) by a Big WildCat last fall and ..my girl keeps taking into the woods. I try to tell her...I think there is a wild thing around every corner..I am even letting others fgo first(don't tell).

SO all this to say ROX, it would not be any different here for you, should my KK come and get you, an attempt to rescue you. YOU are far better off there.
Mine makes me jump the barrels too! But I catapolt over them-so they don't touch me, and my girl does have to hang on for her life!

Hang in Roxi~

c2b said...

Oh my poor dear Roxie. What a horrid horrid human you have. Can you swap her for a different one?

Breathe said...

My mom put this awful thing in my mouth and I was all disgusted and din't want to do nothin.

Then I remembered that it's a bit and it's not so bad.

I will make sure my mom doesn't try to rescue you cuz I bet she's worse even.

--Smokey