Rescue a draft alreddy

So I gets this calendar in my Roxie fan mail:

Starring various Roxies

I donut have means and is no way gonna share my food any way. So I will not be rescuing a draft horse. But shuld you maybe want to? Pleez feel free.

That is all.

Well this is some garbidge times 2

So. Maybe this is common nollidge to every one but me. But did you know it is possible to have TWO bits in your Roxie mouth at the same time?

No.

And let me tell you. It's kinda clangly but all well an good. Until you is trotting around and is all "I'm gonna stretch my Roxie face down now okay mom" and she is like "no you arent" but you go to do it anyway because your big nog is unstoppable. And then the second bit is like "ha ha hello i'm a curb chain" and you is all "AW DANG" and you have to get your face up off the ground.

It is some serios bull jive.

WHY ARE WE EVEN RIDING ME IT IS GONNA SCRAMBLE UP MY PRECIOS BAYBEE

Fie on that bridle any way.

Vet check

Oh heer was a thing.

Remmemer last summer when I was all like "WELP IM GONNA DIE NOW GOODBYE WORLD" and we had to give me tons of medisine?

Mom is all "Let's do bludd stealing so to check on your Roxie stuff and make sure you is living."

So i has to go to the vet.

AND THEY STEELS MAH DANG BLUDD WITH POKING.

SADDEST ROXIE FACE PLEEZ BE NICE TO PERGRET ROXIE

It turns out that my bluud stuff is fine. So this is a big waste of a trailer ride and of my bludd.

But it's cool cuz. Revenge happuns.

I leave a big ol lake in the parking lot ha ha ha ha ha ha ha take that mean stabber peopel.

So. All is well.

Heer is some trael scenes

So my Roxie bigness dose not actually prevent me from trael walkings and some troddings.



That's pritty much how I spent my summer vacayshun.







I is even entrusted with Mom's Matt!





So in conclushun. I is the best trael horse. But I sort of feel like you all know this already.

Aw man

Two months with no Roxie posting???

Welp. I warned you that things is reel quiet here.

My Roxie dot is officially a baby. It has a heart and it has tiny HOOVES you guys. Also I is a big ol preggo lady and some one shuld tell mom that it's ok for me to get whale fat and not be rided any more.

I mean seriosly. My giant girf isn't near giant enough.

But whatever.

Oh here is som thing.

I gives myself a real avvan gardey haircut.

Party up front. Business in the back wher I itches it out.

I is allowed to be bootiful with my hairs cuz it's cool to pamper on a mommy lady and be nice to her and not make her go trotting. Coff coff mom pay attenshun coff.

Things is quiet

So. I has been Roxie remiss in my bloggy up dates.

Roxies is lazy, kina. You all know this.

But also there is not a whole lot of exciting. I does a bunch of trael miles this summer.

Sometimes I takes a pony along. Or sometimes a Fang pony. But mostly it's the Roxie show.

SMILE FOR CAMRA

I do also host some people on my back for traels. Like Mom's frend Aimee.

Aimee makes me into a unicorm, which makes perfick sense if you know her or reed her horse stories:

Aimee lurves unicorms.

I also host Mom's friend Jackie.

And Mom's friend Tracey. But there is no pics of Tracey. :(


Oh, here is a thing that happens. This is confusing. Maybe you all can halp me unnerstand this.

So mom is all "You is not showing this year" and I is all "Cool. Less working."

But still I goes in the trailer. A lot.

I goes to this laydee Krista's house every time.

Krista place.

She touches me in some private places. I is like "WHUT AND WHY" but i allow this becuz Mom says to be nice and also says that all laydees gets inspected here at one time or nother.

What you doing back ther?

SHE IS TOUCHING MY ROXIE BUTTOCKSIE  (O_O)

There is a lot of this happening, perty frequintly. So i gets used to this.

Then, I donut go for a while.

And then when I do go back, ther is some happiness. About a dot?

I don't unnerstand. Hoomins is so weird.

Spring time is trael time

I has been hitting a lot of traels lately. Some on my own with Mom, an some with frends.

Liek today. There is frends on pinto ponies. One of which is a literal pony.

Lookit. Seriosly.

It's even smaller than Potater.

Look at Mom's buddy all the way down there.

Ha ha.

Pony party!

Did I tell you guys I finded a antler?

Because I totally did.

I finded a ANTLER thing.

Right there, doy.

Mom is super excited for this, which i do nut care about.

No care I.

But she gives me treets and says ther is more treets if I finds more antlers. And this I do care about.

I do not finds more antlers that day but I does find a skull to which mom says "close enouf" and i gets treets.

Skull Roxie.

Yay for bone collectin!

Even Roxies has a bad day

Fitniss is being attained.

I unnerstand that many of you hoomins in the innernet world probly sees my Roxie greatness and is all "Dang baby you is super great and awesom." And this is troo for the most part.

But even Roxies can has a bad day. Like yesterday this happens.

I carries Mom around and is such a good Roxie except for when I spooked at a tweet bird. But other than this. We trotted around and did off roading and found some ded animal bones and things.

Business as usual.

I comes back home and Mom puts me on the hitch rail and gives me my graim. But then i hears the hot wire thing be all "SNAP" against some metal and I is all "OH GOSH DANG NO WAY I GOTTA GO." Becuz som times you just gotta leave.

But then.

There is no leaving.

I tryed my very hardest to brake my rope. But no.

SO I TRIES HARDER.

PULL MIGHTY ROXIE SERIOSLY.

But then this hurts so i gives it up.

Not sorry.

I wish I might say this only happens one time. But Mom is all "You stupid Roxie is being so super stupid" and some other mean things to me. So then she goes back to brushing me liek nothing is wrong! And does NOT fix the scarey wire. So i pulls back again. And again. And one more time. And then ok once more. And maybe one more time after that.

So today I has a rope burn and a hurty nog and Mom has to call a chiro lady to come out soon and put my head back on. 

I ashure you I probly lerns nothing from this experience tho. 

So yeah. Even Roxies has a bad day.  

Foolin' mom

So I, Roxie, has done SUCH a good job of foolin' mom on regard to my Roxie fitniss level.

I packs Mom around bare backsies all winter and Mom is all "Its a hard work to do walkies with me on you thru all the deep snows!" and i is all "YES i agree *huff puff*"

. . .

But then. the snows melts off.

Mom goes to put on my Roxie jomp saddul and lerns that my big girth no longer fits my Roxie greatness.

:(

I tries to tell her it is all hairs but she is all "nope we needs to go do trotting since you are a big fatt butt Roxie."

So now it is back to areena work which is reel work and also trail trodding.

Boo.

Garbidge Wensday

So today is Wensday. Around these parts this is Garbidge Wensday. Wen the garbidge man and loud clanky truck comes and hauls off all your old feed bags and kitty litters and noose papers and whatever.

What this meens is, ther is all these cans of garbidge that sprouts up wen i goes and wanders around on the road with mom on me.

Super Alert Status

These cans is not normally there. So i hate them.

Or at leest, i did hate them. Then mom invented a fun Roxie game where i touch a garbidge can with my snoot and I gets a treet!

Now I kind of love these garbidge cans. They means I get treets. Plus the cans have weird interesting smells in em.

*sniff*

Um

This was in mah Roxie email the other day:

This is not a verry nice thing to assume that Roxies need grammer help.

Maybe Roxies do nut WANT your help!

Thank you and good day.

Vallentine

Enjoy this Roxie heart vallentine! And give each other a hug and mebbe a carrot today for Pete's sake.

Instant Gram

So ther is a thing on the innernet that is a Insty Gram. It's like this Roxie blog exsept for it is just picsures. Oh and hash things. But this is all sort of cool because of like you can clik on a hash-thing and it takes you to whole gobs of picsures that are of the thing you were wanting to see.

This is a long way of sayin that I also has a Insty Gram. I think you serch by my Roxie name? But appurently there was already some false Roxie Horse so now you must serch for "Roxie.Horsepower."

Mayhaps I can provide this.

Hold on.

well here ya go: https://www.instagram.com/roxie.horsepower/ 

Go there and see more Roxie with more freequincy. My blog typer Mom hooman is bad at Blog but might be better at mobil phone pic snappin and insty-grammin and hash-thingin.

There will still be bloggin. But who knows how offen that is going to happen, reely.

More snows

So this winter has included a whole lot of snows at my Roxie house.

This is fine.

I gets rided in this snow, but it is always barebacksies and walking. So this is no big deel. Neether mom nor I is in much hurry any ways.