Thursday, March 31, 2011

Bloo Sheet

I luvs my Roxie bloo sheet.

I luvs it.

It is a classic peece of fashun.

I will never gets rid of this.

Today mom is all “Roxie you need a new sheet” an I is all “NO NEVER I LUVS MY BLOO SHEET AN WILL NOT EVER GIVE IT UP” and then mom is all “Roxie your bloo sheet has patches and leeks and your butt gets wet when it rains.” And I is all “I DON’T CARE, I LUVS MY BLOO SHEET.” An then she is all “Well I got you a new sheet” and I is all “. . . I’m lissening.”

So mom gets me a new sheet. It is blak and grey with a formy swoosh design that is slenderizing to a Roxie. And it is a SOOPER ROOMIE CUT in teh sholders!

It is a size NINEDY. An it STILL barely covers a Roxie buttocksie! Ha ha ha!

Check it, it is beeyoutiful.

Fashun is all about trendyness.

So long, bloo sheet!

Friday, March 11, 2011


Ther is a ROXIE BEER.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Mom is try-ing to kill me

So. Mom is trying to kill me, Roxie. I do not like this an I request a rescue from anyone who is willing to saeve me.

Heer is some exsamples of Mom trying to kill me:

1) Mom taeks me on a TRAEL RIDE. An TRAELS IS SCAREY AN WILL KILL ME. Traels is scarey every spring, until I goes out for a few tiemes an I rememmber that traels is no big deel. But Mom an me goes on a trael ride with Leeuh an her horse Fred-Black-Jack. An EVRY THING IS GONNA EET ME. I is all O_O the whole time. Heer is a artist rendishun:

Post scrip: Nothing eets me. But it CULD have happened.

2) Mom puts me in a new bit. It is my Roxie bit that I gets for Crimmis, it is a Kimmer Wick. Well. This Kimmer Wick is AWEFUL! I HAETES IT!!!!!!!!!!! Ther is a big MEEN chain unner my Roxie chin! An when Mom is all “flex at a poll” an I is all “no, I don't wanna, I is Roxie,” this chain BITES me an it is TERRUBBLE!!!!!! Mom is a MEEN MOM an I is going to die a Trajic Roxie Deth if I have to keep flexing at a poll! D:

3) One day, Mom is all “we is gonna jomp” an I is like, “yay! Jomping!” But then she is all, “Roxie you must jomp these barrels with NO stannerds” an I is like, “whut, no! I don't WANNA, I IS ROXIE!!” an then she SPANKS me! An jerks on my Roxie mouf! An I is all “nooooooooooooooooooo, barrels is too hard!” But Mom is like, “you MUST jomp this!” an finely I HAS to. :( An then I is a Good Gurl, an then i rememmber that jomping is fun. But still. This jomping with no stannerds is asking much too much of a Roxie. An I almost dyed, seriosly. Hard works maekes you die Roxie Deth.

I do not want a mom who kills me alla time. This maekes for a Sad Roxie.