Sunday, November 27, 2011
I will explane this revenge as a series of mathamaticull eqayshuns.
Roxie anger abowt Veternary Man is lesser than Roxie anger at Mom for CALLING a Veternary Man.
Roxie anger at Mom+Roxie anger abowt being clipped = letter R
(Letter R times Current Roxie extreme fizzical fitness level), when added to (reecent cold snap x other horses runnding along a fense line) = Roxie decision to BOLT AWAY last nite with Mom riding in a dressazhj saddul an halter!
This is pure awsome. I has SO much fun with this.
Mom is all "WE IS GONNA DIEEEEEEE!" and I is all "NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE A ROXIE AND TO THINK YOU IS GONNA DIE!"
Mom is all "I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU SLOW DOWN FOR CORNERS CUZ IT IS GETTIN DARK AN THE GROWND IS FROSTEE!" and I is all "NEVER! I IS ROXIE!"
Evenshually i slows back down to a canner. Mom cannot stand in stirops in a dressazhj saddul an it is hard work to pack a hooman butt around at high speeds.
A artist rendishun:
Note Mom's long stirops an ineffecktual arms. An my Roxie wound, and fangs, and favrite fuzzy gurth cover.
We'll just see if Mom calls on a Veternary Man EVER AGAIN.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
NO MORE VETERNARY MENS
Well. Mom does not lissen.
Here is a storey.
Sunnday, Mom coms to my horse house an there is a Roxie face lump that was not there Saterday.
She does Mom Freekout an i gets butes in some grain so I is all good. Mom is all "I will watch this to see whut happens."
Then she is all "Is this a in-feckshun or did you get kicked in the mouf?" An i refuses to anser this.
So she keeps with bute-givings (wich is fine a-cuz of they make mole-bottom flavor bute now). But after a few days, Hay Lady is all "Hay Roxie, com get brekkest hay!" an I is all, "whut is the use. Eeting brings pain. I donot care for hays." And Hay Lady note-a-fies Mom an Mom calls a Veternary Man.
So we goes in to a wash rack an I is all "Roxie."
Heer is me.
Then stupid Veternary Man comes an i gets a Roxie shot. An i gets dronk. :(
Hoomans always think this is SO FUNNIE.
Then the Veternary Man proseeds to do AWEFUL things to my Roxie lump.
He stabs it with a NEEDUL to see if it is a absess. It is NOT.
Then he pokers around IN MY LUMP with forseps to see if there is a splinner. There is NOT.
THEN he CUTS IT OPUN.
Then he rams my Roxie face open with a speckulum.
Ther is nothing i can do abowt this. Except for plot a Roxie Reevenge.
Veternary Man tells Mom that i was kicked in a Roxie face an my Roxie Tooth ponched thru the side of my mouf. This causes damage an puffiness.
(Go Team Bluey!)
Veternary Man then gives me SO MUCH pain meds an Bananameen tho that i forgets all this. I just kind of stand there an be wobbly an swetty. It is super sads. :'(
Then Mom gives me a somewhat undignified clippy job. This is ALSO super sads.
But, wen enough time has passed that is a Normal Roxie again, I gets grain foods for being a good gurl. An i also gets a new Bloo Sheet, resurreckted in Bloo Blankit form.
I will tell you of Roxie Revenge tomorrow. I getded it. >:]
Friday, November 18, 2011
I is like "WHUT."
Thursday, November 3, 2011
So Mom is like "Let us go see if you has a laeme." So she takes me to a rownd pen an I is in-spierd so I is like "ATHLETIC!" and "AIRS ABOVE A GROWND" which if you donot know, meens you jomp up and down and be all like "BOING BOING BOING." Oh and you may also buck in place. Mom decides I do not has a laemeness but I has to ware a Roxie Ice Pax evry day any way.
Veternary Man coms to see me, Roxie, also.
Veternary Man is a person who I rememmer from last time, he does POKINGS and YANKINGS and TRODDINGS. So this time, i sees him and his Veternary Equipmint and I is all like "No. Nervus." but relly he is OK this time. He just squirts a bunch of goop-stuff on my leg and feels it with a Roxie Leg Feeler Thingie. This has happened before also, so I chills out.
He tells Mom there is NOTHING wrong with me! Hooray! He says per-haps a kick incident has happened to my Roxie leg (and that mebbe my constant buttock-biting of Tiny Bloo Horse may have pervoked this), but that my Uhspensory Liggimint is a-ok fine. And I is like "OK, sweet."
And then Mom is all "We go back to WORK now, Roxie!" and now I is not shure how I feels abowt all this soundness any more.
I is also not shure how i feels abowt this Unfashunable Roxie Leg Shave Job.