Saturday, December 10, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
I will explane this revenge as a series of mathamaticull eqayshuns.
Roxie anger abowt Veternary Man is lesser than Roxie anger at Mom for CALLING a Veternary Man.
Roxie anger at Mom+Roxie anger abowt being clipped = letter R
(Letter R times Current Roxie extreme fizzical fitness level), when added to (reecent cold snap x other horses runnding along a fense line) = Roxie decision to BOLT AWAY last nite with Mom riding in a dressazhj saddul an halter!
This is pure awsome. I has SO much fun with this.
Mom is all "WE IS GONNA DIEEEEEEE!" and I is all "NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE A ROXIE AND TO THINK YOU IS GONNA DIE!"
Mom is all "I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU SLOW DOWN FOR CORNERS CUZ IT IS GETTIN DARK AN THE GROWND IS FROSTEE!" and I is all "NEVER! I IS ROXIE!"
Evenshually i slows back down to a canner. Mom cannot stand in stirops in a dressazhj saddul an it is hard work to pack a hooman butt around at high speeds.
A artist rendishun:
Note Mom's long stirops an ineffecktual arms. An my Roxie wound, and fangs, and favrite fuzzy gurth cover.
We'll just see if Mom calls on a Veternary Man EVER AGAIN.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
NO MORE VETERNARY MENS
Well. Mom does not lissen.
Here is a storey.
Sunnday, Mom coms to my horse house an there is a Roxie face lump that was not there Saterday.
She does Mom Freekout an i gets butes in some grain so I is all good. Mom is all "I will watch this to see whut happens."
Then she is all "Is this a in-feckshun or did you get kicked in the mouf?" An i refuses to anser this.
So she keeps with bute-givings (wich is fine a-cuz of they make mole-bottom flavor bute now). But after a few days, Hay Lady is all "Hay Roxie, com get brekkest hay!" an I is all, "whut is the use. Eeting brings pain. I donot care for hays." And Hay Lady note-a-fies Mom an Mom calls a Veternary Man.
So we goes in to a wash rack an I is all "Roxie."
Heer is me.
Then stupid Veternary Man comes an i gets a Roxie shot. An i gets dronk. :(
Hoomans always think this is SO FUNNIE.
Then the Veternary Man proseeds to do AWEFUL things to my Roxie lump.
He stabs it with a NEEDUL to see if it is a absess. It is NOT.
Then he pokers around IN MY LUMP with forseps to see if there is a splinner. There is NOT.
THEN he CUTS IT OPUN.
Then he rams my Roxie face open with a speckulum.
Ther is nothing i can do abowt this. Except for plot a Roxie Reevenge.
Veternary Man tells Mom that i was kicked in a Roxie face an my Roxie Tooth ponched thru the side of my mouf. This causes damage an puffiness.
(Go Team Bluey!)
Veternary Man then gives me SO MUCH pain meds an Bananameen tho that i forgets all this. I just kind of stand there an be wobbly an swetty. It is super sads. :'(
Then Mom gives me a somewhat undignified clippy job. This is ALSO super sads.
But, wen enough time has passed that is a Normal Roxie again, I gets grain foods for being a good gurl. An i also gets a new Bloo Sheet, resurreckted in Bloo Blankit form.
I will tell you of Roxie Revenge tomorrow. I getded it. >:]
Friday, November 18, 2011
I is like "WHUT."
Thursday, November 3, 2011
So Mom is like "Let us go see if you has a laeme." So she takes me to a rownd pen an I is in-spierd so I is like "ATHLETIC!" and "AIRS ABOVE A GROWND" which if you donot know, meens you jomp up and down and be all like "BOING BOING BOING." Oh and you may also buck in place. Mom decides I do not has a laemeness but I has to ware a Roxie Ice Pax evry day any way.
Veternary Man coms to see me, Roxie, also.
Veternary Man is a person who I rememmer from last time, he does POKINGS and YANKINGS and TRODDINGS. So this time, i sees him and his Veternary Equipmint and I is all like "No. Nervus." but relly he is OK this time. He just squirts a bunch of goop-stuff on my leg and feels it with a Roxie Leg Feeler Thingie. This has happened before also, so I chills out.
He tells Mom there is NOTHING wrong with me! Hooray! He says per-haps a kick incident has happened to my Roxie leg (and that mebbe my constant buttock-biting of Tiny Bloo Horse may have pervoked this), but that my Uhspensory Liggimint is a-ok fine. And I is like "OK, sweet."
And then Mom is all "We go back to WORK now, Roxie!" and now I is not shure how I feels abowt all this soundness any more.
I is also not shure how i feels abowt this Unfashunable Roxie Leg Shave Job.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
You may guess which bit is for my Expansive Roxie Mouf.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Jelosy. I has it.
Baby Bloo Horse gets to go on trailur rides.
An she wares my Roxie Bob saddul. And she taekes Mom to seenik vistas.
An Mom buys her a sooper cute pink an green haltur.
Mom is all liek "Oh Bluey is SOOOOOO SMART, she evun steps on her haltur leed rope an does not explode!"
"An she is lurning to be LEED Trail Horse! Good baby!"
She is all halpful too. Liek she halps Mom pick up our horse doots.
Brown noser. Liderally.
This is maeking me look bad.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Then I sees Mom coming to my Horse House with a Tiny Bloo Horse an I is like, "wow, that is one tiny bloo horse." And THEN she puts this strange horse into MY House! An she is all "Roxie this is your new liddle sister" an I is like "WHUT."
And then I is all "GGGGRRRRRRRR" and also "OH HECK NO I IS NOT SHAERING MY MOM AN MY SADDUL AND MY GRAIN FOODS."
SO i maeke Snake Eyes at Tiny Bloo Horse. An she is all "meh" and she wannders arownd.
She does NOT respeckt my Giant Roxie Size! And she helps her own self to my Roxie Hay!
And so I threttens to BITE her! And then she kicks at me! An then I bites her for reals! And then there is more respeckt.
See? Respecktfull distance is mane-tained.
I is getting used to Tiny Bloo Roommate Horse. She has ben here for a while now an I is still SOOPER meen to her but wen Mom taekes her for rides I is all ". . . COMM BACK, Tiny Bloo!" an I nicker-yell for her. I do not run arownd becuz this is a waste of Roxie energy. Also becuz she coms back evenshually. At which time, I bite her some more.
Seriosly, look how tiney she is. Mom's Matt is a normal size hooman:
I do think she is my liddle sister for reel. It is SO nicer to have a liddle sister than it was to have a Pet Horse. Evryone gets SO MAD when you are meen to your pets but no one cares if you is meen to your liddle sister and you wale on her.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Did I forget to menshun that I lives in a new horse house?
This is my big back passture. I goes in this somtimes.
I ackshully lived in this big back passture many Roxie yeers ago. Heer is me as a 2-yeer old beebee in it.
Any ways. Back to now-time. This little beebee lives in this back passture. This little beebee is MY beebee. He has a Mom that is a yello color like he is. But he is mine. I is his onnerary Mom.
Heer is my Roxie pen. This is ware i lives for the most part now. It is a big pen with a VERY BITEY electrick fense.
I has this pen all to my Roxie self. Until one day a tiny bloo stranger shows up.
I will deevote a whole nother entry in my Roxie blog to Tiny Bloo Horse.